Continuing my quest to never get laid, I spent a Saturday cross-checking GameRankings review scores against VGChartz sales numbers.  As of January 15th, 213 games have sold one-million copies on the three seventh-generation consoles, reception ranging from dreadful to legendary.  Armed with this data, I ask: What can we learn about the seventh generation of video games with this data?

Bad games can be purchased for any console.  Many sell.  But never have so many sold irrespectively of “quality”.  And the majority of this business is taking place on the Nintendo Wii.

Yeah, reviewers have biases.  They enjoy Microsoft’s wallet.  They would have married Grand Theft Auto IV if they were allowed to.  But on a “compiling thousands of reviews for hundreds of games” basis, I’m willing to hear the opinion of those who enjoy the medium for a living.

Note: Review scores for multi-platform titles are weighted as the percentage of sales for each console, so Bayonetta’s Playstation 3 fiasco would only stink up the chart if it sold.  And since Blizzard is the only company that isn’t ashamed to reveal its success in creating PC games, review scores for the platform are weighted as ten percent of the final review score.  Why consider PC scores at all?  Because Left 4 Dead and Dragon Age: Origins are proof companies still want to make the mouse and keyboard fun.  The following legend will be used to display the data:

Let’s get dirty.

The X-Box 360 is rightfully criticized as a shooter-heavy console.  That genre comprises seven of the top-twelve-selling titles for the brave little toaster.  So don’t be surprised: Ten of the top twelve sales-lines on the Nintendo Wii feature the word “Mario” and/or “Wii” in the title.  Some are unplayable, the majority are solid.  The problem?  Remove those titles from the chart.

Based on this data, you can make an argument that Nintendo Wii games sell worse as their review score goes up.  Some of them are thoroughly dreadful.  Game Party, touting a GameRankings average of 37, has sold over two-million units.  Its sequel scored five points lower and also went million-seller.

But every system sells crap, right?  This is partially true.

Where the Nintendo Wii uses “family-friendly” to punch its meal ticket, “mainstream gaming” knows you love football.  This is all about hit-or-miss.  Every game to score over an eighty-five was either a Call of Duty, Rock Band, FIFA, or Activision rhythm title.  Twenty-one games (including wrestling, tennis, and Tony Hawk: Ride) were sports games, the majority part of a year-to-year production schedule.  Fifteen (and seven of the nine worst in the category) were movies, the majority tie-ins for an upcoming motion picture.

So yes, people are willing to crap in any forest.  But what do we get from titles optimized for “high-end hardware”?

“Hardcore gaming” entails any games published for the Playstation 3, X-Box 360, and/or Personal Computer.  To Nintendo’s credit, their console boasts enough brand identity that one can claim it has no direct competitor.  And if CrispyGamer’s “consoles per American household” breakdown is accurate, the Playstation 3 and X-Box 360 user bases combined are equal to the Nintendo Wii’s.

So night, meet day.  Of the twenty-six games that scored over a ninety, twenty are in this category.  Crap on Halo if you’d like, but these games are more likely to be good and more likely to be rewarded for it.

If you’re a fan of the Nintendo Wii, what’s your rebuttal?  The Nintendo Wii wasn’t designed for the audience reviewing it?  Any score below a 70 is Serious Issues Land, where your controls don’t work and your character falls through the game world.  But your kids enjoyed it!  By that logic, Air Bud gets a free pass because your five-year-old thought it was awesome.  A dog playing basketball?  Fine.  Go-to scorer?  Fuck you.

Think of it like mixed martial arts.  Your friend knew nothing about “that human cockfighting” a year ago.  He now loves it.  Unfortunately, he thinks Kimbo Slice is the baddest man on the planet and Jiu-Jitsu is pseudo-porn.  He’s really a disenfranchised boxing fan.  But for now, his money is staking out the same territory.  And right now, the same thing is happening: The Nintendo Wii’s older demographic spent the last twenty-five years mocking long-time gamers.  And now, their hypocritical guilt trip is leaving a nasty stain what a game needs to do in order to sell.

Edit 1: Edits made for general clarity and grammar.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 9:29 pm and is filed under Casual Gaming, Console Gaming, Hardcore Gaming, Nintendo Wii, PC, Playstation 3, Reviews (External), X-Box 360. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.