Why We Smurf
I’d like to clear up a misconception about Blizzard’s decision to “eliminate smurfing” from Starcraft II. A number of web sites have gone out of their way to explain why I am a bitch.
Spoiler alert, douchebags: That is not why I smurf.
I wrote an entire dissertation explaining how Blizzard broke Warcraft III’s matchmaking system. The old iteration of the service was damn good, good enough to become the groundwork for Halo 3’s ladder. The flaw? Bad players were getting stomped by good players playing on new accounts. And what do shitty players do when they get a raw deal? They don’t get better, they bitch and complain. And since they make up the majority, Blizzard caved to them.
Today, the company paints smurfing as an ego boost for elite Warcraft III players. Here’s the dirty secret: Top-level Warcraft III players do not smurf because they enjoy it. They smurf because in 2004, Blizzard pushed a set of matchmaking changes designed to eliminate smurfing. They were configured for 2004’s player activity. 2004’s crappy Warcraft III players are now 2009’s crappy Defense of the Ancients players. As a result of the diminished activity, top players cannot find games.
The Four vs. Four Random Team rankings tell the story. The “cream” is dominated by posers. Elite players cannot find enough games to max out their account’s experience level. As of this writing, my primary Warcraft III account has a 55-39 Random Team record. After 94 games, my search time averages thirty minutes to an hour. And playing at night? Forget about it. When all I want to do is play the damn game, the easiest way to do this is to make a new account and start over.
You know that evil “pirate server” known as ICCUP? I play Starcraft there. My winning percentage looks like a solid batting average. I don’t have qualms about getting my ass kicked. And your employees stand up and say I smurf because I’m a pussy? Fuck you. I’ll see you at the top and let you know what it tastes like.
August 23rd, 2009 at 5:41 am
Or perhaps you won’t see them at the top, since nobody at the top can find games! HUR HUR HUR HUR
August 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am
There are other reasons for smurfing. For example, mapmakers might not always want people to know they made the map they’re hosting, for various reasons, from people being assholes just because they can and going on and on about how much the map sucks, to fanboys having all sorts of lame suggestions about what would be awesome to have in the map. Even if none of the players is particularly annoying about it, being recognised can feel a bit awkward, or maybe that’s just me being a total introvert.
Anyway, it’s not such a big issue if your map isn’t popular so I never really did smurf, but you can bet IceFrog doesn’t play DotA (if he plays it at all) under that nick.
August 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am
Wait, I missed something. I know the ladder system for WC3 is broken for the top players because nobody else will play them so they can’t find games, but isn’t SC’s matchmaker different? I thought it was a relatively simple thing to just connect and find a pickup game…but then again most of my experience with SC comes from LAN.
August 23rd, 2009 at 4:17 pm
It is. But with the way the system currently weeds out “fair matches”, it can take hours for top players to find a single game. And at night? Forget about it.
August 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
The number of people in the system at launch should be much higher than WC3, so the likelihood of a splinter group like iccup forming will be lower, and with some luck the match making system will actually work with a larger number of people.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Sure, SC2 matchmaking will be just fine on release, the question is what happens after five years when most of the people stop playing ladder in favour of newer games or custom maps. Another contributing factor will be the map pool.
I suppose the first test of matchmaking on smaller player bases will be when the first popular custom maps get their own ladders.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Im under the impression that blizzard will keep up with its map pool, especially considering they are taking such interest in custom maps on b.net 2.0 , they will likely be incorporating traditional league maps into ladder either by paying the map makers or by stealing it under the EULA
August 24th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
My complaint wasn’t necessarily that Blizzard won’t do their job on this. My complaint is having to deal with the failings of the Warcraft III AMM for over two years and then being told it’s because I’m a bitch. It’s merely the perception.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Isn’t it different at the Asia server?
It should be plenty of skilled people. Or do they play at other servers? ([i]Pirate[/i] servers)
February 10th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Yeah what they said was a blanket statement, but look at it from blizzards perspective, they’re trying to cater this game the best way they can for casuals, so by saying look were punishing elitists, they are showing the majority they are looking out for them.
Its unfair, like in your situation, but ultimately the new system will make this all a moot point, that is if you can take blizzards kick in the balls insult.