Teamliquid.net is “introducing” SC2ProMod: Because we already determined the public won’t watch Starcraft if players don’t play regional manager with their mineral line.  In a world oblivious to time zones and the concept of April Fool’s, where each part of the Earth operates on a different clock, people missed the fucking point:

As future reference for Starcraft III and the mind-control headset that will dumb down the game for noobs with slow fingers, it is important to remember why people would think this isn’t an April Fool’s joke.  Let’s travel back to 2007 and 2008, when the internet learned Starcraft would have a competent interface and the internet lost its fucking mind.

And since Blizzard put multiple building selection in their coffee, Starcraft II was ruined and the company was never heard from again.

Right?  Right?

See, Blizzard strategy games are what real-time strategy would be if it had originated in the arcades.  No other competitive games demand a skill set that twists hand-eye and mental dexterity into knots.  And  surprisingly enough, nobody’s taken their cue.  So I would like to thank Blizzard Entertainment: It is a guarantee that Starcraft II will ruin the next decade of my life by consuming it.

When I tore into Starcraft II, I did it because “this game has issues” is better criticism of a beta build than “I want to make love to you, Dustin Browder!”  Enough of that crap.  This is going to be one of the greatest games of all-time.  Not just “quality game that chewed our time” material, this game is a fucking statement, a gigantic middle finger to anyone who believed the company couldn’t create a legendary strategy game without the company’s founding fathers or a crappy, outdated interface.

I totally called it: Starcraft II would be Blizzard’s arcade-strategy style wrapped in a web of mindgames.  And so far, we’ve only seen smudges of potential, where David Kim rolls a Baneling amoeba into some bastard’s dignity, where Orb fulfills the wet dream of any Protoss-on-Zerg hate crime.

Really, has it dawned on people yet?  We’re discussing and embracing a beta build as though it has a rich history!  The “Who’s who?” of international Starcraft discovering that talent from all walks of the genre can match them blow for blow.  This divide’s proving close enough that Starcraft fans are resting hope on the Koreans still locked into KeSPA contracts.  Did you see Major League Gaming’s beta-cast between IdrA and CauthonLuck?

Where Randy Couture versus Brock Lesnar could embrace “world-class game-planner versus the most terrifying professional wrestler of the last twenty years”, you can now have “Premiere American Starcraft player discovering one of Warcraft III’s original superstars can hang with him”. Styles sell tickets, storylines sell tickets, and in Starcraft II, the storylines are the playstyles. Think this isn’t serious business?  I’ll be damned if gamers won’t look down upon each other for playing shitty games like Warcraft III, and tune in to watch competitive gaming prove the superiority of Starcraft above all else.

And it’s doing it with a balance build more playable than any Command and Conquer game ever was, more playable than Reign of Chaos ever was.  Just wait until Blizzard uses the next three years to tweak the finer things.  And then watch the superstars turn the game into clockwork, a game of Blitz chess with two-hundred-and-fifty pieces jockeying for position.

Yes.  This game is at least two months away from retail.  And it’s already that good.

Official Games ｜WCG 2010

PC

* Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne (Blizzard, RTS)
* Counter-Strike (Valve, FPS)
* TrackMania Nations Forever (Ubisoft, Racing)
* Carom 3D (NeoAct, Sports)

Xbox 360

* Guitar Hero 5 (Activision, Music)
* Tekken 6 (Namco Bandai Games, Fighting)
* Forza Motorsport 3 (Microsoft Game Studios, Racing)

WCG 2010 Promotional Game Title:

PC

* Lost Saga (IO Entertainment, Action)

One of two possible scenarios, maybe a combination:

- Screamed it for years: Warcraft III is international and Starcraft is not.  When I call it the “Korean Gaming Machine”, I don’t kid. South Korean dominance of Starcraft is best compared to American dominance of basketball leading into the early nineties.  And where the World Cyber games hosts the most important Warcraft III tournament of the year, the biggest intrigue on the Starcraft side was seeing how the Korean representatives would tank games in order to sweep the medal round.

- Starcraft II is also absent.  The powers that be could be waiting to see if the sequel is competition-ready.  Of course, Blizzard could also have thrown money at the Games to keep KeSPA’s meal ticket off the most visible gaming tournament in the Western Hemisphere.  Would that surprise anyone?  The tournament is paid and bought by Samsung.  Have you looked at their lineup?  Carom3D is a billards game that makes two straight hours of Pac-Man look like Daigo’s parry fetish.  The tournament also touts “Why is this here?” titles as “Promotional Games”.  Also known as “Samsung wants you to buy their crap.”

Either way, this is far from the end of this battle.

Credit goes to Starshaped for the link.

In addition to the removal of true local area play and the increase of digital restrictions management, Blizzard Entertainment’s current platform for Starcraft II online play is “one game, one account, one name”.  Why?  Yeah, this approach is about making money.  But it’s coming from more angles than you’d think.

At BlizzCon, Blizzard employees affirmed this decision was to prevent smurfing (talented players “resetting” their record by creating a new account).  Smurfing has two purposes: To experiment with new strategies without tainting their “real record”, or to ego trip through the ranks of mediocrity.  Neither situation addresses the Warcraft III matchmaking system that forces good players to make new accounts in order to find games, and it doesn’t address that bad players will complain anyway because that’s what bad players do.

It’s really a public relations ploy.  Blizzard has plugged three strategy games into Battle.net since smurfing entered the culture, and only decided to hard-line the approach when “millions of World of Warcraft players” came into play.  And since the MMORPG is predicated on making time and effort the most important assets for overcoming challenges, Blizzard is going to make every concession in making sure these players don’t become frustrated.

So, you’ve stripped functionality by convincing new gamers that experts won’t ruin your party.  And thus, Blizzard can to grant that functionality back for a price.

And that’s why “One name per account” won’t stick.  Blizzard’s already convinced people to pay real money to change the name and gender of their World of Warcraft character, so there’s money to be made in a new name.  But then why restrict premium name creation on day one?  If you don’t care for competitive gaming, this is a solid time to begin.

Know about domain squatting?  Where someone registers ReaganIn2016.com with the hope that the Mayan Apocalypse will get Zombie Reagan back on his throne?  It’s enough to underestimate the obnoxious prick who will get under the skin of an internet message board they don’t like (I already have alternative names to work with, don’t bother); powers in competitive gaming have brand recognition to cement.

Trust me: When you see this avatar, you shit bricks if it isn’t me.

From the day Starcraft II was playable, KeSPA and company have been politicking “their sport” Starcraft against Blizzard’s complete control over the the sequel’s competitive gaming scene.  What better for Blizzard to make friends with KeSPA by creating a naming system where 650 variations of Slayers_Boxer can’t exist, and pro-gamers can use the clout of their teams to secure the name they want before Starcraft II goes live?  Go ahead and claim there isn’t precedent for this.  Have you read the World of Warcraft naming policy?  It states that if you name your character, you are probably going to get banned for it.

It really is economics: The Activision-Blizzard marriage was built on an arms race that began when Blizzard’s pay-to-play role-playing game became a huge success.  The company now faces a daunting task: Convert a pay-to-play World of Warcraft audience to the free-to-play Starcraft II…and make more money.  And whether you’re a gamer with no interest in the Korean Gaming Machine or somebody who wants to play anonymously from time to time, it’s probably going to cost you.

Yes, the impact of random items and the power of hero units were legitimate gripes.  Warcraft III was not a perfect game and it had some particularly glaring issues.  But since the dirt sheets claim Starcraft II is not a hoax, we need to clear something up: All of the gameplay issues that plagued Warcraft III’s early days will return to haunt Starcraft II.  The question is whether Starcraft players will put aside their hatred for the Warcraft series and come to terms with that.

All the same arguments can be compared to Starcraft’s leap forward from Warcraft II:  Dynamic balance between three factions?  Didn’t know “Terrans can’t stop a six-food Spawning Pool build” and “Zealots can’t compete with Zergling mobility” were racial specialties.  And way to bridge the gap between the elite and scrubs with your pointless interface upgrades.  You may have a centralized gaming server to work with, but good luck being the competitive standard Warcraft II was.

Didn’t turn out that way.  But just as it took several years for Boxer to demonstrate Vultures and Dropships weren’t useless pieces of metal, Moon and Grubby had to beat the crap out of each other to flesh out Warcraft’s fantastic metagame.

Several years back, I whipped up a tournament dedicated to Warcraft III’s greatest imbalances.  Of the top-sixteen-ranked imbalances, seven had their roots in the opening year of Reign of Chaos.  Of the remaining choices, six were confined to beta builds, and the other three (Undead Hero Nuking and a pair of “unstoppable” Two-Versus-Two Arranged Team builds) became an afterthought when players got better.

Apart from the moron who can’t afford The Frozen Throne, no Warcraft III player believes Reign of Chaos wasn’t frustrating.  The majority of the game-breaking issues stemmed from Blizzard’s “we knew it was stupid at the time” decision to give caster units and Dryads the nowaday equivalent of medium armor.  What could go wrong when spellcasters designed to counter melee units take additional damage only from melee attacks?  Ironically, it ushered a “balanced” era in Warcraft, the epic struggle between walls of spellcasters and clumps of Ghouls.  This clash of bullshit bottle-necked the available strategies and turned every game into a dash to rid the map of neutral monsters.

Pictured: The Human Army, circa patch 1.05.

Then in 2003, The Frozen Throne made the same leaps as Brood War.  The experience system was tweaked to encourage player interaction and foster multitasking.  Then neutral heroes were introduced, many filling niche roles and allowing players to accept that every hero did not have to be a viable choice in every matchup.  Then “useless abilities” began to evolve.  The Raider’s Ensnare ability became a highly valued asset, because hey, what’s it worth to get free kills in a game where half a dozen of those are the precursor to a rout?  Then 2004’s Wind Walk changes simmered for three years before transforming the Blademaster into Wilt Chamberlain.  In 2010, Humans counter the Blademaster by exploiting Orc’s lack of detection, employing Flamestrike and Blizzard harassment derided as a gimmick when ANGRY_KOREA_MAN popularized it in 2003.

It mattered none for Starcraft players.  They already fell back on their sport.  In their eyes, Warcraft III was a cookie-cutter strategy game.  But I’ve watched the game grow since I lucked into the Reign of Chaos beta eight years ago.  Warcraft III wasn’t a cookie-cutter game because it failed, it happened because humans are fucking stupid.

What, you think “stupid” is exclusive to one game community?  Played on X-Box Live lately?  In forging their non-existent self-esteem, gamers judge themselves on the merits of their record.  (Yes, I’m aware of the irony that I wrote that.)  Since these people have never had an intelligent thought in their lives, they conclude the strategies used at the highest level of competitive play are the “best strategies”.  And without understanding the context for why competitive players create those units, they try to recreate the results and fail.

And this is supposed to change when Starcraft II makes it to retail?  That the Starcraft game model is so superior to role-playing strategy that when millions of World of Warcraft players delve into what may be their second significant time-investment in a video game, they’re going to have an epiphany and become the tactician a decade of Starcraft molded its community into?  Tell me how that turns out.

Replay is a big problem too. The retirement of old progamers was influenced by replay. Even when Nal_rA and others pulled off an interesting strategy, copying it a day or two after is possible because of replay. As the old progamers went down, fans left. More effort was needed to hold them, but such effort is insufficient nowadays.

Isn’t it funny that the final opinion of a professional gamer always caters to their skill set?  And that every Starcraft-related opinion is a matter of preserving the game’s skill gap?  And that I consider this news-worthy because his “replays” are a legendary cross between “entertaining” and “jaw-drop”?

Let’s assume Boxer isn’t full of crap.  Replays have a detrimental impact on the game of Starcraft because replays expose too many holes in gimmick strategies.  If you believe this, congratulations!  Your hero just conceded that Starcraft lacks the depth to continue being the ultimate competitive video game!

He is echoing the same argument that people make when they choose college basketball over the pro game.  National Basketball Association rosters feature so much talent that the game devolves into a war of one-on-one basketball, where superstars use the benefit of a referee’s whistle to take over the game.  Likewise, Boxer is upset that his micro-heavy, risk-first style has been “deemed inferior” by a set of boring playstyles where the final resource tallies would look natural on an Obama budget.

In other words, Boxer is arguing that competitive Starcraft would be far more fun to watch if it looked like your last LAN party instead of trained machines going all binary on each other.  Well, South Korea is the only country on the planet with a refined taste for professional gaming, and they did it by convincing the world they’re a hell of a lot better than us at video games, so I’m going to have to disagree with that.

I personally believe that Starcraft requires the most diverse skill set of any competitive game going.  But that’s not the reason for Warcraft III’s underachievement.  Let’s ignore the matchmaking aspect, where KeSPA can create exciting tournaments on a weekly basis; Warcraft III’s failings are all about accessibility and presentation.

Know how Europeans can’t understand America’s infatuation with the American brand of football?  Know how Warcraft III players want to choke Defense of the Ancients players?  Warcraft III has the same issue: It’s too complicated for a live audience.  Knowledge of the game’s nuances may not be a headache for veterans, but imagine selling “Warcraft: The Sport” to somebody who has never played a real-time strategy game.

“Tuck Rule”?  What the hell is the Tuck Rule?

With an exception for spellcasting units (Defilers, Dark Archons), you can watch competitive Starcraft without knowing a single thing about the game.  Psionic lightning looks like lightning, Marines look like dudes with guns, Zerglings have claws, and shit blows up.  The ebb and flow of combat and map control are all you need to decide who is winning a contest.

Compare that with Warcraft III, a game that relies heavily on role-playing elements (spells, abilities, effects) to distinguish units and heroes. These numbers and gameplay mechanics must be memorized in order to recognize their impact on the playing field.  You cannot look at the graphics for spells like Soul Burn, Howl of Terror, and Inner Fire and determine what they do on face value.  And good luck explaining why the Human player is about to win the game because he’s been pinned in his base but is about to get his Mountain King to level six.

Consider the hero experience system.  Know that the amount of experience granted by a unit corresponds to its “level”, a number typically equal to the unit’s food cost?  Know that rule doesn’t apply to Gryphon Riders, Demolishers, Meat Wagons, Frost Wyrms, and Mountain Giants?  How about diminishing returns on experience points gained via neutral unit kills?  The amount of bonus experience a lone hero gains as the player advances up the tech tree?

Congratulations, you’ve developed a system where the strategy of levelling a hero falls on creeping patterns and complex calculus.  It may provide for one hell of a role-playing strategy hybrid, but good luck selling it to the red states.

The talent level is good.  Damn good.  How good?  I’ve drawn up a synopsis of the letter grade ranking system on the internet’s most Korean gaming server.

Empowered by numerous victories on Big Game Hunters, you’ve chosen to play on ICCUP.  In the grand scale of things, you’re a solid player.  You have little trouble defeating your friends (though they insist they’ll get the better of you after playing the campaign one more time).  However, you’re unprepared for a world where man and Starcraft can wed in matrimony.  Your friends play Halo all the time, but that’s only because of that drinking game where you chug every time someone says the Battle Rifle is bullshit.  By your eleventh straight loss, it should be quite apparent that ICCUP is not for you.

Through dumb luck or hard work, you’ve maintained your default ranking of D or beaten enough D- players to achieve the D+ rank.  For every three games you play against even competition, Bisu will join your game to remind you that you are dog shit.  This will fuel your insecurities, leaving you to compensate by logging onto the Battle.net forums to brag about beating me.

As a C-level player, it’s possible you are very good.  It’s also possible you cherrypicked your only good matchup to make it this far.  It’s also possible you’re a Korean who mocks your opponents for “me kor u noob baka rofl ^_^”.  If you earned this rank on merit, you have mastered Starcraft.  Your skill level is now defined by how many games of Starcraft you can play simultaneously.

In your daily war against Korean pre-teens and the Western World’s sixty remaining Starcraft players, you have earned the respect of the internet.  As a B-Class Starcraft player, there is little doubt to whether or not you are the coolest kid in the school anime club.  You possess all the skill of your paid-to-play peers, but your parents keep disconnecting the router because you won’t take out the garbage.  Too bad you mom can’t see such an endeavor is beneath you.

You are an A-Class Starcraft player.  Your life consists of the horrifying reality that you will play a video game seventy hours a week.  You do this on the hope that Tossgirl will walk into the love letter you wrote in Vulture Mines.  Some of your opponents will be chess computers.  They have already calculated that you will lose the game and will hack your hard drive to make sure you can never play again.  Your lone reprieve will be the occasional game against IdrA.  Just mass Carriers and you should be fine.

Congratulations.  You have achieved what mortals wouldn’t dare.  You have reached the world-class “Olympic” ranking.  If you achieve this ranking, start tearing out the drywall in your room.  You are a secret government project and it is important that you know where the cameras are.  At this level of play, the metagame is for pussies.  Rather than guessing your next move and micromanaging their army, your opponents will telepathically restrain you from pressing keys on your keyboard.  Just don’t bother complaining about it on the internet.  Some D- player will tell you it’s part of the game and that you need to stop sucking so bad.

Now consider the Orc Blademaster.  He can mix and match early-game item drops to increase his damage by as many as twenty to thirty points.  And unlike the Beastmaster, the Blademaster’s effectiveness is dictated by his attack damage.  Can you see where there may be a problem with this? Give credit to eSportsFrance for charting the conclusions I came to.

That’s right: In the last nineteen major international tournaments, Orcs have won fifteen.  In seven of those tournaments, Orcs fought each other to determine the winner.  What a way for Warcraft III’s competitive legacy to end.  It’s long dealt with accusations that the game is geared towards luck, items, and heroes.  And what did we end up with?  Players stacking the Blademaster with items and raining hell with Critical Strike, an ability that gives the Blademaster a fifteen percent chance for his attack to deal double, triple, or quadruple the damage.

So when’s Starcraft II coming out?

Credit to H4x for the link.  Anyone interested in the Warcraft III competitive scene owes it to themselves to read the article.

Teamliquid.net is the de-facto Starcraft journalism hub in the Western World.  Its members protect their passion for Starcraft like a first-born.  Need proof?  Teamliquid’s Hot_Bid drew up an article detailing the state of early-game Zerg in Starcraft II.  That is, thirty-six-hundred words detailing a problem that will be irrelevant in three months.

I’m not here to slam one for writing a dissertation on a non-issue.  The obvious hypocrasy would be obvious.  I’m more embarrassed over the ensuing discussion.

To summarize: Joneagle_X of SC2Forums wrote an article addressing Hot_Bid’s entry a review of each Zerg unit.  This conflicted with Hot_Bid’s point of view.  Eventually, Jon was goaded into defending himself on Teamliquid decided to interject himself into Teamliquid discussion for no reason at all. He began his defense with this:

I’m the guy whom HotBid “made look like he knows nothing.” Sometimes the ridiculousness you guys post makes it into my inbox and then I just have to respond. Feel free to read (and inevitably downplay) my review here. And in contrast to HotBid’s two days (maximum 20 hours) of playtime I’ve logged almost 60 hours on StarCraft 2.

A shitstorm predictably ensues, with Jon’s critics claiming his opinion is irrelevant because 1) he’s not good at Starcraft and 2) the entirety of Teamliquid has more Starcraft II experience than Jon does.

This is a fair time to note that I wake up every morning and wonder why people are content with being so stupid.

Early in my campaign against the Japanese Role-Playing Game, I was derided for playing one-hundred hours on a single Final Fantasy VII save file?  Why?  It wasn’t because I needed a life.  According to my detractor, I hadn’t played enough Final Fantasy VII to criticize the game.

In modern gamer culture, “years of experience” isn’t enough to validate your opinions.  Now, I’m supposed to get on my knees for the idiot who has played fifty games of Starcraft II?  And I’m supposed to respect the opinion of his critics because they’re totally awesome at the sequel’s predecessor?

You are terrible at this game.

I don’t care who you are: If you are reading this entry and Starcraft II has not been released, you are fucking garbage at Starcraft II and your opinion has no more merit than anyone else’s.  Being totally awesome at the predecessor does not change that.  1998’s best Starcraft players would be laughed out of a modern tournament.  Ten years from now, we will be talking about “Starcraft II in 2009″ the same way.

So if you’d like to get a head-start on being a complete dick, go ahead.  Just letting you know I’m calling you out on it.

Edit: Amending the record to show Joneagle was not directly responding to Hot_Bid’s entry.  Thanks, Dreadwave!

Edit Edit: Let’s try this again.