Tomorrow, Uncharted 2 becomes Hideo Kojima’s study material for creating a focused narrative.  Not without competition from Brutal Legend, who will [cheap insult at Electronic Arts].  Both of these games are potential classics.  What is the Nintendo Wii offering this week to combat these releases?  A reimagining of 1989’s A Boy and His Blob.

Sorry to disappoint.

Not necessarily a knock on the new iteration, which is doing its damnedest to reinvent “cute”.  It doesn’t explain why Destructoid’s Hamza Aziz is doing his damnedest to redefine “bullshit”:

The game is ridiculous cute, extremely gorgeous and should please fans of the old classic.

“Old classic.”

See, a shorted supply of Nintendo products didn’t begin with Wii Fit and the console that bears it.  Due to the runaway success of the Nintendo Entertainment System, the company spent the late 80’s diligently trying to satisfy software demand.  Today’s forgettables fall into obscurity.  In 1989, parents bought anything printed on a Nintendo cartridge.  The result?  A gaming environment where A Boy and His Blob can convert “quirky, punishingly-difficult mess” into “old classic”.

To prevent the spread of evil, I am implementing a new rule for commenting: Should you mention A Boy and His Blob in a positive light, I am condemning you to an eternity of unimaginable pain.  You have been warned.