For the six-thousand years since the Creation, America has been the undisputed champion of the world.  But today, threats loom.  Democrats control the political process.  Brock Lesnar controls the Octagon.  But most terrifying?  A world where countries compete in a global market for goods and services.  Fortunately, we triumph again.

Best Buy’s on the ball.  How do you expect an untrained American to install a Japanese gaming device?  Hello?  Cultural divide?  Japanese goods simply don’t fly in America.  We’re sorry Sony, but your influence is in another country!

Remember kids: America invented capitalism.  It’s an economic system where one improves products by marketing them better than their inventor.  Best Buy, you have a fine service, but I summon my trap card: The Ghetto Playstation 3 Installation Team.

We’ll prevent your Playstation 3 from ever getting the dreaded Red Ring of Death!

You can’t take chances in this world.  One day, your game console is playing Wii Sports.  The next, it kills you and every person in your family.  Video game consoles are a device best left to professionals.  That’s why The Ghetto guarantees they can install your Playstation 3 or Sony will give you your money back!

Best Buy claims they can do it for 130 dollars?  What a ripoff!  As part of our week-long, fifty-percent-off promotion, The Ghetto will install your Playstation 3 for sixty dollars.  What’s more important?  Purchasing a copy of Heavenly Sword, or making sure your Playstation 3 can entertain you?

We’ll not only match the competition, but we’ll install two Playstation Online accounts.  That’s double what the competition offers.  And as a bonus, we’ll permit your Playstation 3 to download demos!  It’s like a legal version of ThePirateBay!  Choose from hundreds of video games, like Batman: Arkham Asylum, I don’t know if Metal Gear Solid 4 is there but I’ll check, and many others!

It’s your call: You can follow the instructions in the manual, or we can do it for you.  Call now, before your Playstation achieves sentience and murders the dog!